Catch Up Post

09/30/2021 X Teri Leave a comment

I didn’t make this; I modified it, but I love the plot twist of the sentiment. I say the first part often – but love the alternate sentiment, too. It’s like an Angry Hallmark card. (Patent Pending)

I got a Covid booster shot yesterday. My arm feels like I had a punching contest with Joe Buss. (For those who don’t know him, imagine the Incredible Hulk except with a bad haircut.) Flu shots start Monday. I think I need to schedule an acupuncture appointment for Tuesday or possibly a 12″x12″ tattoo. I’d hate to forget the pleasure of needles.

P.S. Using dumbbells evidently gives me the reminder I need.

I burned my feet making breakfast…
in the toester.

When you need someone to do something really bad, wouldn’t you go to Rent-A-Sinner?

Trying to decide if the surgeon would like to be pranked and scared by me jumping out from behind the door. If I do it, he might opt to remove my staples with a paper stapler remover.

I got the Arkansas Guide To Nature: Senior Edition today in the mail. Recommendation: “Look out the window and don’t be stupid. Nature’s not for you.”

Ridiculous But Logical HumorA single friend of mine told me he was having difficulty meeting single women. I explained to him that my law of simplicity offered a very clear and easy resolution to his problem. All he needs to do is to find an attractive woman who is walking with her significant other. And run said significant other over with his vehicle. The lady in question by definition is therefore immediately single. I’m not sure how elegant my solution is but it is absurdly logical.

You’re welcome, X

PS this is the kind of humor you get after you hope and pray that I survive emergency surgery. Just sayin’.

This is for Maeghan, who should see an example of what words can convey and the model of what a good life can look like…

She paused to watch her children laughing. They are scattered around the kitchen table, each of them excitedly attempting to interject a bit of wit or insult to their siblings. Knowing they are together in a house she bought with her husband fills her with love and pride. She and Luis will soon celebrate their anniversary on Sept. 21st. Luis gives her passion, humor, and a face that should have been in a Boy Band.

She thinks about the four F’s: family, finances, faith, and fulfillment. After so many years of scratching from humble beginnings, she tries to remind herself of the gratitude that motivates her each day.

For the first time in her adult life, she can define all four by simply looking at the table full of children.

Education, house, career – all those things are essential. And each of them brings challenges. With the help of family who loves her and friends who laughingly support her, she incrementally finds a way to realize her goals. Like so many, her goals morphed and changed as she did.

Because her new career not only helps feed her children and her dreams, she realizes that helping people find homes in which to enjoy their lives might probably be the best job to have in the world.

She sat a minute longer, lingering with a faint smile on her face. When her journey started, she had no conception of fulfillment; this embodies it. Though she stood up from the couch with her head filled with to-dos for work, she realized that it wasn’t work at all. Few people have a life that they could happily call their own. It takes hard work and missteps, both in equal measure, to get where she is.

Most importantly, she now knows that everything that fills her to brim with love and kindness isn’t a ‘thing’ at all. She hopes that every house she sells will be home to a family like hers.

Amor + Work = Success

Today, at 2:40 p.m., a drunk driver slammed into the Razorback Malco theater. It was a box office smash.

DIY, Humor, Project, Sling Blade

Sling Blade Scenario DIY Kit

09/28/2021 X Teri Leave a comment

Well, I finally finished my ultimate art project, one celebrating one of the best movies of all time: Sling Blade.

Now, if I find myself in a Sling Blade scenario, I have a tool handy for the Doyles of the world.

It’s a brilliant piece of art, if I do say so myself.

Yes, that is a real lawnmower blade in the kit.

Love,
Karl aka X

Humor, Music, Opinion, Personal

Get Up!

09/28/2021 X Teri Leave a comment

Not Safe For Work
Contains Profanity & Other Good Stuff
Seriously, Don’t Watch Or Listen If You Despise Cursing

If you’re not familiar with Marc Rebbilet, I’m sorry. He’s acquired some fame for his brand of on-the-fly music-making, fancy robes, boxer briefs, and irreverent take on music, initially recorded in his apartment.

I listened to this for the first ten minutes of my walk this morning. It’s funky, ridiculous, and makes me laugh.

If I’m found dead, some people will be unable to process the variety of music that resonates with me. From Los Angeles Azules to Il Divo… to whatever this is.

Whatever it is: Get Up!

Eureka Springs, Exercise, Health, Personal

I Lived A Lifetime

09/27/2021 X Teri Leave a comment

I had a bewitching weekend, surrounded by peace and happiness. I took my surgery incision with me, of course, as well as a set of dumbbells and a voracious appetite. Other than experiencing a sliver of sublime living, my goal was to put on five lbs. from Monday until today, work my muscles as if everyday life might intercede at any moment, and amplify the gratefulness I feel. I succeeded on all fronts. From sirloin burgers, to vegetable-loaded mac, waffle chips and sour cream and onion dip, Dot pretzel sticks, sea salt caramel gelato, protein drinks, twenty cups of coffee, and brats with sausage buns, I ate like it was 2020. Maximizing my moments and practicing incrementalism, I also took advantage of the dumbbells, so much so that I might have to buy them dinner.

Life is peeking at me from a conspicuous distance. I’ll remember this weekend; its details are entrenched in my memory. Knowing that people I love were having their own moments, ones punctuated by helplessness, propelled me to focus on savoring the life around me. This carousel might slow at any moment; even the minutes that make me draw my breath in quickly with surprise or dismay will one day be ones to cherish. For here, now: I’m lucky and privileged.

I was cautious over the weekend. For the first time in a LONG time, I opted not to cross any natural bridges or fallen trees. Being prominently featured on The Darwin Awards was very much on my mind. My surgeon might frown on my arrival tomorrow if I were to show up with an abdominal piercing provided to me by limbs jutting out of my intestines. On another note, I’m supposed to get my staples out tomorrow. I’m still holding out hope I’ll get to bring a few home with me to make a souvenir of my guts attempting to strangle me.

I laughed today, discovering that one of my eleven new hobbies transposes to one of my old ones: electronics. From jewelry to stereo, this might be the circle of life. Realizing that I now own a great soldering iron fooled me into thinking that I could easily repair a small stereo I own. It turns out I was right, even though the ‘fix’ followed a circuitous route that defied logic, including, of course, one attempt to solder my finger. After repairing a couple of things, I realized that I could also take advantage of the moment and add a bucket of color even to my stereo. So I dragged out my ample paint collection and got to work. Whether the stereo WORKS or not will be determined in a few minutes, probably in proportion to how loudly the neighbor yells when I crank it up. I’m just kidding; I’m a quiet neighbor. I mainly use the stereo to play 10-hour loops of ambient noise I made myself with Audacity. My favorite is a combination of a box fan, rain, thunder, and a few specialized sounds that are more subliminal than perceptible audio.

Because I already had the paints and platforms laid out, I also painted a large stone I brought back home with me. I love painted rocks. It’s fortuitous that I like painted fingers because I also serendipitously painted my neck, forehead, and even my shirt. Looking closely, I noted that several of the paints cans proclaimed this warning emblazoned along the spine: “Use With Caution. Especially you, X.”

I lived a lifetime in the last few days.

Love, X.

P.S. I forgot to mention how special it is to be able to speak Spanish. It pays dividends in ways that still surprise me. .

Eureka Springs, Personal, Vacation

Wedding Saturday

09/25/2021 X Teri Leave a comment

It was about 9:40. Though it was chilly, it was a beautiful sunny morning, just about a perfect one for early fall. I walked out of the store and into the midst of about 100 bikers. BB&B may have been canceled, but thousands of bikers made their way to NWA this weekend. I complimented one of the bikers on his choice of color. It’s the exact same color as my little car. Needless to say, someone who looks like him would be the last person I would expect to choose that color. A few feet away, a couple were talking to other bikers. Their friend Burt had not made it in yet. It turns out he is a licensed minister. I introduced myself, and told them they could go to the courthouse to get married. Then, I told them that I’m a licensed minister and would marry them right there on the spot if they wanted to. Or that we could go to the overlook, which is a beautiful spot, and do the wedding there. They were very tickled. I gave them my phone number on an index card and told them that they should feel free to call me today and I would gladly perform their marriage for them. I hope their friend Burt is okay. But I kind of also hope that he gets held up and that they call me. What a great memory that would be. Perfect weather, and a great day to make a memory, even if it starts with people who are initially strangers.

We’re all strangers, until we’re not.

It would be a sublime pleasure to be a part of people’s initial expression of love and togetherness. Optimism is infectious.

*
.

I walked up and volunteered to be the picture taker for several groups. That way, their keepsake photos will include everyone. It’s such a treat to do that for people. One group of four insisted on taking my photo.

I heard a celebration down in the valley where I took the picture this morning. A beautiful wedding was in progress and I got to watch the end of it from about 30 feet up. The tears and applause when the groom kissed the bride even got to me a little bit. Hell, who am I kidding? I’ll admit that a tear rolled down my face. 2:00 p.m. on such a beautiful day seems appropriate enough to let a little emotion come out.

So even if the bikers from early this morning don’t call me, I got to live vicariously through another young couple just now. And then I watched them trudge up the long trail and hill. For two people, it was their first afternoon together, hopefully forever.

Love, X
.

Art, Fayetteville, Opinion, Personal

Chalk It Up

09/24/2021 X Teri Leave a comment

I had an extra tub of sidewalk chalk in my little car. Who doesn’t? I’ve had so many little adventures grabbing chalk and drawing for people who’ll never know who did it. Quick messages, words of encouragement, poetry, and odd notes to perplex those who happen upon them. The outside world is nothing if not surfaces, ones unfortunately left blank and colorless. If I find a bucket of chalk, crayons, or markers marked down, I grab a set.

Yesterday, I went to Dollar General to find cheap mixing bottles for my protein requirement. I bought another tub of chalk and a set of crayons and markers for a couple of bucks. A man was walking across in front of Lucky Luke’s bbq. He said, “Cool pin, man” as he looked at my shirt. I had money in my hand, as well as my Dollar General bags. I was on the way to the laundromat a couple of doors down to get what is commonly known as an “assload” of quarters. It’s one of the habits I’ve acquired living in an apartment without my own washer and dryer. “Do you need anything?” I asked him. I would have given him $10 if he had asked. “Nah, I’m good for today.” I stopped. “Hey, how about a tub of chalk? Draw something interesting, pass the time?” He didn’t hesitate. “Hell yes, I’d love a bucket of chalk. I haven’t touched chalk in years. My nephew and I will burn through this.” I handed him the bucket. I could see a little glimmer of the child he once was flickering on his face.

This morning, on a whim, I took the other bucket out and walked over to my downstairs neighbor. His door was open. His young son was already outside, riding around in circles, waiting impatiently on his dad. I handed the dad the chalk. He smiled. “Thanks!” he said. I almost told him it was for his son, but I’d rather see both of them out there covering the pavement and sidewalk with beautiful colors.

I saw them minutes later, riding toward the trail on Poplar.

No one is bored holding a stick of chalk – unless they wish to be. Blank canvases everywhere, waiting.