Category Archives: Humor

Catch Up Post

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I didn’t make this; I modified it, but I love the plot twist of the sentiment. I say the first part often – but love the alternate sentiment, too. It’s like an Angry Hallmark card. (Patent Pending)

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I got a Covid booster shot yesterday. My arm feels like I had a punching contest with Joe Buss. (For those who don’t know him, imagine the Incredible Hulk except with a bad haircut.) Flu shots start Monday. I think I need to schedule an acupuncture appointment for Tuesday or possibly a 12″x12″ tattoo. I’d hate to forget the pleasure of needles.

P.S. Using dumbbells evidently gives me the reminder I need.

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I burned my feet making breakfast…
in the toester.

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When you need someone to do something really bad, wouldn’t you go to Rent-A-Sinner?

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Trying to decide if the surgeon would like to be pranked and scared by me jumping out from behind the door. If I do it, he might opt to remove my staples with a paper stapler remover. 🙂

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I got the Arkansas Guide To Nature: Senior Edition today in the mail. Recommendation: “Look out the window and don’t be stupid. Nature’s not for you.”

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Ridiculous But Logical HumorA single friend of mine told me he was having difficulty meeting single women. I explained to him that my law of simplicity offered a very clear and easy resolution to his problem. All he needs to do is to find an attractive woman who is walking with her significant other. And run said significant other over with his vehicle. The lady in question by definition is therefore immediately single. I’m not sure how elegant my solution is but it is absurdly logical.

You’re welcome, X

PS this is the kind of humor you get after you hope and pray that I survive emergency surgery. Just sayin’.

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This is for Maeghan, who should see an example of what words can convey and the model of what a good life can look like…

She paused to watch her children laughing. They are scattered around the kitchen table, each of them excitedly attempting to interject a bit of wit or insult to their siblings. Knowing they are together in a house she bought with her husband fills her with love and pride. She and Luis will soon celebrate their anniversary on Sept. 21st. Luis gives her passion, humor, and a face that should have been in a Boy Band.

She thinks about the four F’s: family, finances, faith, and fulfillment. After so many years of scratching from humble beginnings, she tries to remind herself of the gratitude that motivates her each day.

For the first time in her adult life, she can define all four by simply looking at the table full of children.

Education, house, career – all those things are essential. And each of them brings challenges. With the help of family who loves her and friends who laughingly support her, she incrementally finds a way to realize her goals. Like so many, her goals morphed and changed as she did.

Because her new career not only helps feed her children and her dreams, she realizes that helping people find homes in which to enjoy their lives might probably be the best job to have in the world.

She sat a minute longer, lingering with a faint smile on her face. When her journey started, she had no conception of fulfillment; this embodies it. Though she stood up from the couch with her head filled with to-dos for work, she realized that it wasn’t work at all. Few people have a life that they could happily call their own. It takes hard work and missteps, both in equal measure, to get where she is.

Most importantly, she now knows that everything that fills her to brim with love and kindness isn’t a ‘thing’ at all. She hopes that every house she sells will be home to a family like hers.

Amor + Work = Success

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Today, at 2:40 p.m., a drunk driver slammed into the Razorback Malco theater. It was a box office smash.

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Sling Blade Scenario DIY Kit

Well, I finally finished my ultimate art project, one celebrating one of the best movies of all time: Sling Blade.

Now, if I find myself in a Sling Blade scenario, I have a tool handy for the Doyles of the world.

It’s a brilliant piece of art, if I do say so myself.

Yes, that is a real lawnmower blade in the kit.

Love,
Karl aka X

Get Up!

Not Safe For Work
Contains Profanity & Other Good Stuff
Seriously, Don’t Watch Or Listen If You Despise Cursing

If you’re not familiar with Marc Rebbilet, I’m sorry. He’s acquired some fame for his brand of on-the-fly music-making, fancy robes, boxer briefs, and irreverent take on music, initially recorded in his apartment.

I listened to this for the first ten minutes of my walk this morning. It’s funky, ridiculous, and makes me laugh.

If I’m found dead, some people will be unable to process the variety of music that resonates with me. From Los Angeles Azules to Il Divo… to whatever this is.

Whatever it is: Get Up!

Mistitled Trifecta

I have more than two full shelves of brooches and wearables now. That picture on the shelf is one of my Uncle Buck in the bathtub, taken about 50 years ago. It brings a bit of laughter to my face when I look at it. I’m not smiling because although I snapped five pictures, all the other ones look like I was just hit with a can of whipped cream.

Since my surgery, the nutritionist told me to eat at least 75 grams of protein a day. My boss Joe quipped, “You’re gonna have to get those numbers up.” I used to mock guys who lugged around a jug of protein powder. But it’s a lot less expensive than buying cases of good nutrition drinks. I’ve always loved the taste of raw protein and similar emulsifiers, so I think this will be good. Ignore me if my mustache is always powdery, okay?
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I got a list of dumbbell exercises that I’m supposed to do. No pushups for a while, though. 🙂 I have three dumbbells in the apartment: two five-lb ones and myself.

Before I started doing pushups on June 1st, my shoulder hurt from my job, especially my right shoulder. The pain went to basically zero within six weeks. If that nonsense returns, I’m going to start eating a lot ice cream. I researched it on the internet because that’s where we’re supposed to get our health advice. Millions of people can’t be wrong.
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Neighbor: “X, would you like to have kids?”
“Why, do you have extra you need to get rid of?”
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Customer service call:
“Would you like to hold or be held?”
(I’m pretty sure that’s what they said…)
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I’m always surprised by the number of washing machines at nudist colonies. But not by the number of contact rashes.
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“Sometimes making a meal with your best friend” could be read as tandem food preparation OR that you’re a cannibal.
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My friend Rodney told me that he was so excited that his wife had joined him in a love of shooting. Since I was over at his house a couple of weeks ago, I heard his wife Jane tell another friend, “Let’s target practice on Saturday.”

I told Rodney he might check her Target rewards card because she didn’t mean the other kind of target practice.
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“Silence is a superpower.” – X
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If you play rock/paper/scissors, studies have proven that if you ask the other person a question immediately before playing, they will most likely select “scissors” as their first choice.

P.S. Can one of y’all tell me how RPS isn’t an Olympic sport already?
P.P.S. Rock-Paper-Scissors should be played with real objects for maximum unsafety.
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Lately, I’ve kept my promise to say, “I don’t know” or “I don’t understand.” It undoubtedly exasperates people. While I can’t reliably speak on behalf of other people, it’s hard to believe that they don’t suffer from the same tendency to attempt to avoid admitting they “don’t get it.” Part of my own journey led me to realize it was something I needed to backtrack and work on. I’m getting the hint, though. A lot of people’s hair is suddenly standing on end when they deal with me. 🙂 “There’s no such thing as a dumb question” suddenly seems to be completely false.
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“There’s dark blue, dark red, dark green.. but there’s no real dark yellow.” Whoever said this hasn’t bee in the hospital, eaten really strong vitamins, nor consumed an entire box of cheerios in one sitting.”


  • I got to use a version of a classic joke while answering health questions:
    “X, do you smoke?”
    “I’ve never looked.”
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    Hope’s vending machine: a wishing well.
    (This one is not mine either, but I loved it.)
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    I filled my day with a variety of activities; a few were random acts of kindness, a couple were to beautify this place around me, and the rest were a combination of careful exercise, reading, and trying to eat calories and protein. I love the days but I’m still learning to fill the absence of people with ‘other.’
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    If you didn’t read my “Bullets” post earlier, you missed a couple of juicy bits.
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Love, X
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Of Gunfire, Runners, Bacon & Beautification

A gaggle of young runners made their way up Poplar toward the traffic light. I was outside near the crosswalk measuring for an address plaque I’m making for the apartment simplex. The last runner was struggling to catch up. “You won’t always be last,” I told him as he crossed Gregg. “I hate running!” He said. I laughed. “You won’t hate it the day you leave all of them behind you, though.” I gave him the thumbs up.

Around 8 last night, I heard weird popping noises. I didn’t think much of it. I was standing outside on the deck. Waking up this morning, I discovered that an unidentified idiot shot into the apartments by the trail on Poplar Street. Automatic gunfire, too. I can see the apartments and trail from the crosswalk outside the apartment. Y’all can scoff, but I wish I’d taken a walk last night. There’s no better adventure story than gunfire after sunset. Have you noticed that almost no nincompoops get up at 5 a.m., drink a cup of coffee, and start shooting? We need a better class of hooligans in Fayetteville! Also, bullets are expensive.

I bought four pieces of bacon in the work cafeteria this morning. (No, I’m not authorized to return to work yet. At least not PAID work.) It’s been a year since I had bacon. Bacon salt has been my salvation in the interim. When I got back to the apartment, I made lettuce and bacon wraps. I may have blacked out with pleasure for a moment.

I also left a surprise brooch for someone today. Nothing says, “Good morning!” as inexplicably as a surprise brooch. Today, I’m wearing a spectacular fleur-de-lis brooch that I found at Peace At Home. I’d not thought much about the symbol until recently. Like so many symbols, it’s an ancient one. When I chose the name “X,” I thought I was simplifying things. Lord, the number of things “X” can signify is astonishing, even though it is just a single letter. It’s nice having a name that looks the same regardless of direction.

Seeing someone’s ASL post this morning made me realize that people around me didn’t know I was saying “Please” a lot of the time. It may look like I’m rubbing my heart. I learned it from a deaf man who attempted to work at Cargill years ago. “Please” and “Thank you” are both great visuals, even in normal conversation – not that I’m sure what that is. People running away from me with their palms clamped firmly over their ears give me the wrong impression.

I finished the address plaque for the apartments. I used reflective numbers. And I couldn’t quite bring myself to NOT put a little bling and beauty on there in the form of a dragonfly. I also installed a nice solar light above it, either to illuminate the reflective numbers I chose – or so that the idiots shooting automatic weapons will have something other than my ass to aim at if they find themselves with an oversupply of bullets.

Other:
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While chatting with my case manager, I did offer to re-write my surgical report. It needs a plot twist and a little bit of pizzazz. And/or humor and brevity: “Patient failed to notice my approach as I used a #11 blade to gut him. We found a herniation near the appendix but this box of Cracker Jacks did not have a surprise.”
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A random internet person read my post about Tammy’s weight loss: “You have no idea how seeing you and your friend have motivated me. I think I have your incremental idea in my head now. I’ve already lost ten lbs, just by deciding to do a few small things each day. Such as choosing differently, doing exercises every hour while at work, and keeping my mouth shut as much as I can. You’re right. Food can’t get in there if it isn’t open!”
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Another person wrote me and asked me if this quote is mine: “Saying you aren’t photogenic is kinda like saying you’re better looking than all available evidence.” No, but I wish I had. It’s pithy and logical.
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A Bit Of Daily Motivation: “Have you stopped to think that somewhere there’s a tree growing that might one day become your coffin?”
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Love, X
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Tuesday, Life, And Me

I visited my primary care doctor this morning. Inexplicably, my appointment started 45 minutes later than it was supposed to. Due to C19 (thanks, Lynette, for the cool abbreviation), I had to wait in the parking lot, observing the spectrum of patients waiting to be called from their vehicles. That’s what gave me time to write my Stolen Beauty post. Since I arrived 1/2 an hour early, I called 30 minutes after my appointment. Drinking two nutrition drinks, two bottles of water, and two cups of coffee before leaving the apartment (one from Kum & Go) left me with a conundrum: public urination in said parking lot or going inside the covid perimeter to the bathroom. Luckily, the woman on the phone could hear that I was almost gargling with the need to go. The nurse and I had a long and fascinating conversation about hospital conditions, my journey toward losing all the weight, and a dozen other topics. She told me she’d been put in the position of being the only nurse on an entire wing before she left her last job at a hospital. She also encouraged me to hide behind the door in an attempt to scare the doctor. Again. I’m guessing we laughed thirty times while we talked. Laughter is the best medicine – and they’ll likely bill me for that too. 🙂

The notecard is one I left on the doctor’s table prior to his arrival. He laughed about that, too. No one found the other couple of witty messages I placed in the exam room. At least, not yet.

I did hide behind the exam room door to scare and/or startle him. I think he might have charted himself a reminder to check behind the door on the way in, though, because he cautiously opened the door and peeked around just as I surprised him. The doctor was in shock that I’d lost so much weight. During my last visit, I told him he’d never see me fat again. I asked him to chart it when I last saw him, because I knew then what no one else believed: I was done being overweight. Though unplanned, The Stay at the hospital left me about 90 lbs. lighter than the last time he’d seen me. I told him the story. He said, “Yours is the single biggest self-done transformation I’ve witnessed as a doctor.” Please forgive me if this comes across as humblebragging. I stopped taking my blood pressure medication shortly after I saw him last year. Yes, my blood pressure has been fantastic since I went below 190 lbs. He told me details about my procedure that I hadn’t known. A herniation happened around my appendix, an improbable combination. He couldn’t tell me if they removed my appendix, though. Because of the CT Scan in the ER, the surgeons expected a tumor or something horrendous. I never knew that. The area affected was minimal compared to what they expected. They gutted me and fixed it in record time. Biopsies and lab tests confirmed nothing suspicious. He said I might be able to return to work once the staples are removed from my abdomen. (Note: they don’t want you to keep them and make a commemorative necklace out of them. That’s disappointing!) The doctor and I talked for several minutes. We laughed several times, too. I’ll never forget last year when I told him that I was over wasting time gaining and losing weight.

I didn’t sleep well last night. But I did stand on the landing outside my apartment as the lightning, wind, and rain made their approach. I could feel its chilly proximity. When the sheets of rain reached me, I felt like I was the only person outside witnessing it. It was sometime after 1 a.m. It was beautiful. The clotted overhead gutters gushed water in torrents unidirectionally. I was glad to have witnessed it. Later, around 4:30, as I started my morning, I watched the lower water-laden branches of a tree cast witch shadows across the pavement, the movement resembling awkward stop-motion photography. After my doctor’s visit, I noted that the parking lot is increasingly awash in thousands of newly-fallen leaves. I said “Hello” to the hummingbirds, who’ll soon leave for the season.

Because of the cause and a friend always recommended it, I went to Peace At Home Thrift Store. I found a shirt that called my name. I had to cut the shoulder pads out of it, which indicates which section I found it in. And for a pittance, I bought several things that seemed like they needed to come home with me. One of them is a nice fleur-de-lis brooch inset with sparkling stones. The woman who helped me pick them out had on a cacophony of jewelry herself. She laughed when I said, “I don’t really wear jewelry.”

Because it’s so close, I had to celebrate the great doctor’s visit by going to Renzo’s and getting a Caprese salad. I liked Caprese before but discovered that Renzo’s connected the dots regarding what it is SUPPOSED to taste like. When I arrived at the apartment, I ate half of it with pleasure. You might have heard me yum-yumming with delight?

“Old keys don’t open new doors.” That’s true. But they unlock parts of our lives that need to be examined. Closed rooms are secrets, ones that occupy parts of our minds and hearts that need to be aired out. A house is meant to be lived in – and our minds are meant to be free and open.

This beautiful key was a gift. It hangs on the wall next to my stove.

P.S. IF all goes well, I might be able to return to work shortly after my staples are removed.

Creepy!

Note: I don’t wear sunglasses. Ever.

Yet, I saw these visor reflective ones and felt compelled to get one. I ordered them before my bowels tried to strangle me to death.

Whether it is by design or not, wearing them gives me the urge to carry a baton and/or skulk around in the periphery bushes of a random property.

Laughing, X

A Celebratory Coincidence

I’m going to celebrate an unusual life event…

I’ve been in this apartment for over a month.

Sadly, my first roll of toilet paper expired yesterday morning.
RIP, Roy.

I snapped a picture of the deceased roll yesterday.

In a cosmic coincidence, an Amazon driver just dropped off a relevant surprise gift from someone about ten minutes ago: a toilet timer!

I’m laughing.

I was going to coin a toilet paper joke, but they are all tearable.

A List of Posts…

The sun is about to set.

I’m trying to figure out why I didn’t put a rocking chair on the deck. Fall has its hands on my shoulders.

As I leaned against the railing, a hummingbird flew up to feed, less than two feet from my head. Another one swooped in, darting around, and hit the first one. It darted down and hit me in the chest and fell to the boards of my decking. I leaned down to pick it up before I had the inclination to wait. As I stood up and held it loosely, I spread my hand with fingers splayed. The hummingbird madly fluttered its wings and flew up. It did so within a foot of my face, and then turned and darted away.

I don’t have a tidy recap for the moment.

Love, X

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The above picture is not a typo. Look closer.

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I don’t have a house. Or a lawn. So why did I buy a lawnmower blade on Amazon? I’ve had a totally stupid but creative project on one of my lists for FIVE years. It is going to come to fruition. This is the kind of time and whimsy that fuels me. Even crazier, I’m wondering why someone hasn’t marketed my idea already. It is SO stupid that it would sell like hotcakes. Lord help us all.

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The above picture is one I drew at work years ago. A talented co-worker colored it in. He recently sent it to me.

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Though I took this picture when the sun might have greeted me, it’s a picture of a streetlight.

Regardless of whether it’s the sun or artificial light, the truth is that if it illuminates with the intensity of what you need, both can be true.

If you embrace a truth, though it might not be factual. your life will radiate your embrace.

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I don’t understand the appeal of having a pot to piss in.

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I tried to adopt a cat yesterday. The zookeeper got really angry and I also have a lot of claw marks on my buttocks now.

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I figured out the perfect way to avoid getting into a fight. Simply stop for a second and put on a bright red shade of lipstick.

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At this moment, I REALLY needed a joke, so I pulled one of the 700+ I have done from my draft folder…

A friend of mine had a breakup with his girlfriend.I looked at a picture of her. She’s a pretty woman with light hair.

I told him, “I guarantee that I can describe your frustration with the relationship and with how she is toward you – and probably make you laugh in the process.

“No, I don’t think you can, X.”

Here’s what I quipped:”Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Blonde.”

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This morning as I discarded things from the work fridge, I stopped and reread the scrawled words on top of the old vegetable platter: “… help yourself please for everyone.” Though the words were written with the intention to let everyone know that they should take what they wanted, I couldn’t help but realize that it was also metaphorical. The way I read it the second time: “Help yourself. Please. For everyone.”

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Usually, I enthusiastically jump out of bed. Wednesday punched me in the face this morning. I thought of this Douglas Adams quote as I stumbled around the living bedroom. (My hybrid name for mine.):“Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.”

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The Brian Law Of Guitar: You NEVER ask yourself if you SHOULD play the guitar or loudly; the question instead is for how long.

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If I were a gangster, I’d carry a clarinet in my hand everywhere I went. People would never see it coming, getting hit hard on the head with one of those. And, if played, probably causes just as much head pain as getting hit with it.

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Self-help and affirmations can be problematic: I asked a co-worker why she was eating 23 bags of Doritos.”My counselor told me to be the bigger person.”

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Since not all of y’all have a straight-talking ex-military handsome older man around you, I’m going to quote Clisson from this morning: “I ain’t got time for young girl problems with an older woman.”

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Family photos for the new apartment!

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Juan sped past me holding a suitcase.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Just running something past you.”

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The only complaint I have with the dealers in this area is that none of them take personal checks, PayPal, or Venmo.

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Someone pointed out to me that an arrow is basically a projectile knife. And I pointed out to them that both E’s in the word “pee” are silent – which is weird because the activity rarely is.

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Call me crazy, but I want to form a mariachi band, one in which everyone plays a banjo.

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I was going to learn to moonwalk. But I need $422,692 to get there.

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As a joke, I signed up my neighbors for Mensa. 50% of them thought they received coupons for feminine hygiene products.

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It’s weird to think that the future version of you is talking a lot of smack about you, and wondering what in the heck you were thinking today.

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Everyone asks about the security at the new apartment. I have an ax, hatchet, and pellet gun. The best feature I installed? You have to solve a basic algebra equation using an abacus, which is tied to an electronic lock. Given the demographics, good luck. 🙂.

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I wanted one inside for a long time. So I bought one in the color I wanted. Y’all can proceed with all the old people jokes you want. I remember the last time when I flirted with buying one of these. I was 75 lbs heavier and the weight limit was slightly under that for the chair I wanted.

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Apartment Adventures”X, why is the fridge in the bedroom?””Well, some people say they love food.”

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I wrote the best possible marketing tagline for the American BDSM Association: “…When You Need Someone To Mistreat You Right.”

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2005 vs 2021, aka 97 lbs. The guy on the left could have eaten the guy on the right. .

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(t r a n s l a t e d anecdote)”Yes, I would like the Jesse’s Special.Without the queso, without the tortillas, without the rice,” I said.”Uh, that leaves just the chicken only, sir.””Serves the bastard right for crossing the road, doesn’t it?”.

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My friend Jessica told me I have a face that’s hard to forget. Just as I started to feel the compliment, she added, “…and that works in favor of the police sketch artist!”

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Unity and harmony aren’t always a positive thing. Just ask the voices in my head…

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Epictetus: “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”I have: Life. Choice. Opportunity. Whether I squander them is entirely my choice or fault. This has been true for my entire life, whether I believe it or not. At 54, I believe it. Love, X

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Knowledge you won’t find in a textbook: “Never complain about not having a shoulder to cry on if you’re around cannibals.”

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When I met the new Latino coworker, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I didn’t like him, although something about his name, Adversario, gave me pause..

An Array Of…

A visit to Sam’s proved valuable in my quest for tomfoolery. The door checker was very adamant I use the Scan-As-You-Go feature. I told him I thought that was for the bathroom. (Is that joke funny?) Among my many feats, I went down the chip and nut aisle and scanned every item on it, about 50 items. And then asked for help to remove “a couple” of things I needed to delete from my app checkout cart. Several people asked for assistance because I still wore my work badge, soft purple shirt, and fantastic Dance Commander brooch. I did my best to help them except for the last guy, who was in a bad mood and couldn’t find the coffee on sale. Without missing a beat, I told him it was all the way in the back rear corner, past the paper towels. Note: it’s not there. But it was the furthest point from me in the store. He walked off, and I decided it would be a good time to leave. I hope he complains about me to the manager! If I don’t get Employee of The Month, I’ll know who to blame.
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The picture of 3 photos is of the upper right corner of my fridge, which I’m loading with photo magnets. Everyone in the pictures except me suffers or suffered from addiction issues. Of the 5 other people in the photos, all but one of them died with their addictions. My sister Marsha is making another heroic effort to right her ship as I write this. Having phrased it slightly wrong when I said “other than me,” the truth is that everyone suffers if they love someone with addictions. Watching someone get on the diving board and stay there and then lose the battle is one of the most painful experiences any of us can live through.

There are no bystanders to addiction.
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It’s nice having a metal door. Not because it heats up to 180 F in the summer. Or prevents most people from being able to kick it. No, I like it because I can fill it with photo magnets and nonsense.
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The purpose of the picture of me against the brownish wallpaper background is two-fold: to show the brooch I wore today and to give publicity to someone’s kitchen wallpaper. I’m not standing in said kitchen. I took a picture of me standing near the trail and transposed myself onto the wild wallpaper background. The brooch inspired a lot of comments: Is it a pilot’s insignia? Was it a repurposed military medal? My go-to response was this: I’ve been promoted to Dance Commander. Whatever you do, DO NOT go to YouTube and watch “Dance Commander – Electric Six.” I love the song, but I’m guessing 103% of y’all won’t. (It’s more than 100% due to the number of my social media friends who have multiple voices in their heads.)


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The picture of the two pennies was the second brooch I made. I gave it to my Director as a gift. If the joke is too thin, it’s this: “Here are my two cents worth.” It might come in handy in conversations.


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The picture of the broken watch is sentimental. I broke off 1/2 of the band and attached a brooch clip on the reverse. I couldn’t bring myself to discard the broken watch. The phoenix in me told me to give it new life – so I did.


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The fuchsia-colored bird metalwork is something I had made by Married To The Metal on Etsy. I painted it when I moved here. If you’re interested, you should look up the word “Onism” on “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.” It’s delightful and an apt reminder while I live inside this box. It is where I discovered the word “Sonder” and many others that are a delight.


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The picture of the edge of my deck is my color tile project-in-the-making. Several of the neighbors probably think of me as some kind of artist because, most days, I’m on the deck painting a variety of things that look out of place. The apartment simplex has a variety of people: dealer, disabled, dog people, and probable serial killer. I have a lot to shoot for if I want to become the most infamous resident here. To be accused of too much color and art would be a glorious compliment.


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I went outside and picked up a lot of trash. I quit, though, because my neighbor Bill got angry when I tried to put him in a trash bag. Please take a shower, Bill. Joking aside, I find myself picking up the mess here often. It’s not my job, but I hope I never get to the point where such things don’t register in my brain; doing so will mean I’ve accepted my environment. There are several things about this place that are very much in need of handcuffs, flamethrowers, or eye-rolling. While I was out, I managed to place another prank in plain view. Just call me Prank Sinatra.
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A FedX truck barreled into the parking lot while I stood outside, relishing the breeze. The driver had salsa music blaring. For southerners, ‘salsa music’ isn’t music you listen to while you eat Tex-Mex, by the way. The driver was surprised I greeted him in Spanish. I love watching drivers pull up and always hope they need a signature. They can expect a lot of interesting scenarios with the crowd who lives here. Barking, sometimes even from actual dogs, suspiciously-folded window blinds, and a strange cast of characters.
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I have to go choose among my 17 colors of paint and see what needs brightening now. I know I don’t. I hope the mood lasts. Last evening was a challenge for me. In closing, I’d like to add: no, Marilyn, I don’t have a cat yet, although I suspect I ate a bit of cat food in the cafeteria this morning at work.

Love, X