Someone asked me if I was the one writing the political messages on the sidewalks. No. I don’t see anything wrong with it. It washes off. My sidewalk antics are always shenanigans. If I were to ever write anything controversial, I would sign it. It’s part of the reason my Facebook posts and other accounts are public. You either enjoy a good combination of wacko and introspection, or you don’t. In this day, trying to sway someone’s political opinions is exactly like attempting to microwave your own head. With just about the same results.
There’s something in business I call the invisible ceiling. It lies between management layers. It’s part of the defect of many organizations. Upper management mandates their objectives. As those objectives trickle down, human beings are relied upon to make them happen. We’re reluctant enough to share negatives with our own partners. Lower managers do not communicate their objections, obstacles, or negatives to those above them. Even when it’s beneficial to the organization. Upper management becomes increasingly unaware of the issues at ground level. Their decisions become more divorced from reality. The invisible ceiling between levels in organizations leads to misbehavior and poor management. If human beings are involved, you can be darned certain that there will be both bad decisions and even worse responses to keep those consequences out of sight of those who decide whether people can continue working.
It’s a combination of both ego and paycheck.
How can organizations minimize this disconnect? By employing people with the knowledge and nerve to know that part of their job is to say things that their superiors might not want to hear. You also need relief valves so that the people performing the work have a connection to the upper management. The more flexible and spontaneous these relief valve communication channels are, the more likely that middle layers of management will stifle their tendency toward silence or controlling the information flow. It also identifies weaker managers much more quickly.
Everyone says that they want open and direct communication. Yet, if you look closely at not only relationships but business models, you’ll see that they are designed and operated on a daily basis with no direct communication driving it.
You have to have vocal people and encourage them. If it’s not part of the culture, it’s an open secret that you should bite your tongue. Open doors mean nothing if people are nervous to use them – and doubly so if the person in the chair isn’t listening.
I’ve watched this in action my entire life.
It’s so obvious that it’s a critical component of success.
“If you’re not listening to and talking to the janitor, you’re missing critical information to keep your business healthy.”
Businesses are complicated machines. While some positions are more replaceable, all of them have their necessity; otherwise, they wouldn’t exist. Pay attention to all the cogs and provide a means for voicing contrary opinions. You’re going to wish you listened to your spouse, and you’re going to wish you’d taken a minute to ask the person doing maintenance if there was anything that could be a problem.
Anonymous surveys cause raised eyebrows. One-on-one interaction brings revelation.
I’m not judging Oprah Winfrey for being deceptive about the cause of her weight loss. She’s an adult and did what she needed to do.
What bothers me is that several high profile people have said that it’s impossible to lose so much weight so quickly without resorting to drugs or surgery.
That is not true at all.
This week, and old friend reached out to me, saying he needed to lose a lot of weight and his focus was going to be on exercise.
Though I have not written about it much lately, you might remember that I have a different take that most people don’t understand.
At my highest point, I was at 253. I woke up one morning feeling like death was standing behind me. A bell went off in my head.
From that day, I completely flipped my diet and experimented with better quality foods that kept me feeling fuller.
I ended up losing over 100 lbs. I did not starve myself. But what I did do was realize that I was obviously consuming more calories than I was burning. Despite that, I did not count calories. I didn’t take drugs and I didn’t add any exercise until about 8 months later.
I chose push-ups because I could do them anywhere. The amount of time traveling to and from a gym usually exceeds the amount of time you’re actually working out. Later I added dumbbells for the same reason.
I consumed a massive amount of vegetables, cooked and seasoned wildly. I ate so-called bad foods too because failing to treat yourself is a guarantee that you’ll fail.
While I am not at 150 anymore, one thing that came out of the process is that I realize that I can drop to any weight I want simply by putting into action my desire to see it through. It’s true that if you have an underlying medical condition, this process is going to be very chaotic and more difficult. When I talk about my weight loss or anyone wanting to do the same, I’m not including those people in my recommendations.
If you leverage your body correctly and simply figure out a way and experiment to eat so that you’re not hungry but can also stop consuming so much of the things that you know in your heart are part of the problem, you will lose weight over time. It’s consistency.
The other thing I can’t help but preach about is that you need to be very careful about doing anything you can’t do for the rest of your life. Losing weight is not a sprint or a one-off thing. Because if you change back to old habits, your body is going to start storing calories again if you consume more than you burn.
I didn’t have any special skills. I still don’t. But I do have a certainty that weight loss can be achieved simply by taking small moves and making them a habit. You don’t need to spend an hour a day in the gym. You can walk, do intense housework, or enjoy moving around in a lot of ways. Building muscle does help keep you healthier overall. The science is clear. But if you are looking to lose weight regardless of your muscle mass, you will always get a bigger bang for your buck by reducing the things that you know aren’t good for your weight. It’s easier said than done, right?
You have to choose your hard. Food is damn good and always will be. If you take a hard look at what you’re eating and figure out a way to reduce it and trade lesser foods for better ones and keep at it, you will lose weight.
Being thinner does not equal being more healthy. But let’s be honest. A great number of people need to lose weight so that they will feel like they look better. I don’t judge people for their reasons. We are vain creatures.
If a billionaire struggles to keep her weight where she wants it, it’s a certainty us mere mortals will struggle too.
And we will continue to struggle until we face the demon and acknowledge that most of us have more weight than we want simply because we don’t understand how many more calories we’re eating than we need.
Yesterday morning, I watched an older lady painfully collect her bags from the EZ Mart counter. When I left, I rolled down my window and offered her a ride. I could see the look of distrust in her eyes. She said thank you and immediately turned away. She struggled with the bags as she walked.
Today as I left the worst convenience store in the history of mankind, another older lady seemed to be talking to me from a distance as I drove away. Because my car has ancient roller windows (even though it’s a 21 model), I leaned toward the passenger side and rolled down my window. She asked me if I could give her a ride. Honestly, assuming she wanted a ride to a nearby location, I had time. It’s rare for me to hesitate. But something about her seemed off. I told her I could not. She smiled and said thank you. And then she added that she loved my purple glasses. Something about her saying something nice and adding a smile after she realized I wasn’t going to give her a ride banged a gong in my head. I’ve given plenty of rides to questionable people if I’m alone because the risk is only to me. Or them, if you know me well enough.
Love, X
PS The picture is unrelated to my story. I took it Saturday. My cat was rolling around under the tree debris as if it were catnip. He’s on lockdown again after yesterday’s shenanigans. .
I’ve irritated some people in my life. Especially those who are arrogant or irritating about the culinary world we experience subjectively. Pineapple on pizza. Ketchup on steak. How meat should be cooked. Whether painted-on eyebrows look strange. I grew up listening to my Mom say, “You don’t know what’s good.” She could eat some things that the vultures would shriek and fly away from. My Dad forced me to eat some nasty stuff; I can laugh about it now. But a part of me laughs and rejoices because I now know he was among the worst to fail to appreciate all the kinds of foods in the world.
There is no right and wrong regarding what you eat or what you like. It doesn’t work that way. And, of course, everyone knows this. For some, the idea of eating fish eggs or oysters, aka snotshells, is as repulsive as watching a 6-year-old pick his nose and then salt and pepper it.
Whether you like your steak bleeding or burned to a crisp, it lies with each person to decide what they like. I watch people argue and criticize what other people eat. The ones criticizing tend to eat some of the most outlandish and nasty stuff on the planet. My brother Mike liked to dip. He’d mock people’s food choices relentlessly. He didn’t take it kindly when I pointed out that it looked like he had let a raccoon poop inside his lip.
If you want to put chocolate pudding on prime rib, fire away.
If you like fresh jalapeños on vanilla ice cream, pile them on there.
And if you like head cheese or liver and onions, I will gladly watch you smile and burp appreciatively as you consume it. Don’t get me started on raw celery, aka The Devil’s Anus.
But if I’m eating burned popcorn or a steak so well done that the fire department is about to come in and you make snide remarks… you’re going to find head cheese or pineapple pizza under your pillow later that night.
Everything about what we like and dislike is subjective.
There are no rules.
We can’t even agree that ties are a stupid anachronism that should be discarded. Or that shrimp are the cockroaches of the sea. But we can mock someone eating fried bologna as we gleefully munch on foie gras as if our choice is superior to theirs.
If you like to eat literal cockroaches, you’re in luck. In my world, I’m going to be fascinated by anything that I consider unusual. But I’m also going to bite my tongue because I embrace the difference in taste that we all experience.
I’m judging you if you judge others for what they put in their mouth. You better check your pillow if I hear you doing it.
It is the lowest form of mockery to mock or attempt to humiliate someone for what they eat or how they enjoy eating it. This is doubly true if you do so in front of other people while they are doing it. I don’t tell you that your pants make you look like one of the mentioned symptoms in a WebMD article; the least you can do is bite your tongue.
“Hunger does not need a cookbook.” – X
“In matters culinary, there is no greater arrogance than objecting to what someone chooses to eat or how they season it, sauce it, or flavor it. I’ve yet to meet anyone who isn’t an idiot with their food, and the feeling is undoubtedly reciprocal.” – X
I was never a big Beyoncé fan. It seemed to lack something and didn’t speak to me at all. But the first time I heard her new country song Texas Hold ‘Em, I loved it. It’s catchy as hell. Music is like food; it’s subjective. Often, it’s hard to pinpoint why I like a certain song. The term je ne sais quoi definitely applies. I knew that this was going to be one of those pivots by an artist that would cause a lot of ripples. Unlike Dolly Parton, who released a phenomenal rock album last year, Beyoncé is a more controversial figure. If Hardy is a country musician, then Beyoncé is too. Tom MacDonald is another artist who is breaking the definitions of mainstream. I’m a fan of fusion and the evolution of all types of genres. Beyoncé’s pivot to country music is pure genius. People can argue about whether they like the song because that’s based on taste. But you can’t make the argument that it’s not country music. At least not without having to take a deep look at the origins of a couple of different genres. It is fun to watch country music stations and fans wrestle with their objections to her throwing a banjo-influenced javelin right down the middle of country music.
PS Even Prince’s “Purple Rain” was originally written as a country-infused song that was to be sung with Stevie Nicks as a duet. X .
Valentine’s Day. I much prefer the Spanish version, which is “El Día del Amor y la Amistad.” Translated, it’s the day of love and friendship. I think we would do well to embellish our traditions of the day to include reaching out to friends and people who mean a lot to us. I’m not one to limit my surprises to observed holidays. It is more fun to catch people off guard by NOT waiting for special days. Age has rendered me frustrated by the “tomorrow-itis” I see around me. A gesture, five pounds of chocolate, or a hug on a random day might have an impact that’s had to measure.
PS The picture has a subtle meaning and joke that you might not catch at first. It’s what a lot of people look forward to on Valentine’s Day.
P.S. Parenthetically Speaking 